Jokes Store II

29	INDIAN
	A sardar was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway. On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile. Then the foreman asked the sardar why he kept painting less each day. He replied "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can".

30	INDIAN
	Banta Singh was painting his living room one hot day. "Why", his friend Santa Singh asked him, "are you wearing two jackets?". "Because," said Banta Singh, "The directions on the can said to put on two coats."

31	INDIAN
	Did you hear about the sardar who asked his friends to give him all their burnt out light bulbs? He just bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom.

35	INDIAN
	Cow in the sky A sardar was walking along, when he looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over him. The sardar says, "Good thing that cows don't fly".

TEENS

Oops!>

A woman went to the doctor asking for bigger breasts. The doctor gave her the choice of either having an implant or wearing a special bra that inflates when you flap your arms up and down. The woman chose the bra.

The next day she went to a bar to try out her new bra. She saw an attractive man sitting alone at the bar. Flapping her arms, she strolled over to flirt with the man, who had started flapping his legs.

"I see we have the same doctor," he said.

KIDS

Proud Papa

One day, shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to run some errands.

The proud papa stayed home to watch his wonderful new son.Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry.The father did everything he could think of doing, but the baby wouldn't stop crying.

Finally, the dad got so worried that he decided to take the infant to the doctor.

After the doctor listened to the father relate all that he had done to get the baby to stop crying, the doctor began to examine the baby's ears, chest and then down to the diaper area.

When he undid the diaper, he found that the diaper was indeed full."Here's the problem", the Dr. said, "He needs to be changed!"The father was very perplexed, "But the diaper package says it is good for up to 10 lbs.!"

KIDS

First day of School

It was the first day of school. As the principal made his rounds, he heard a terrible commotion coming from one of the classrooms.
He rushed in and spotted one boy, taller than the others, who seemed to be making the most noise.
He seized the lad, dragged him to the hall, and told him to wait there until he was excused.
Returning to the classroom, the principal restored order and lectured the class for half an hour about the importance of good behavior.
"Now," he said, "are there any questions?"
One girl stood up timidly. "Please sir," she asked, "May we have our teacher back?"

INDIAN

Intelligent Santa

Santa and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Patiala to New Delhi. The lawyer asks if he would like to play a fun game. Santa, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me fifty rupees, and vice versa."

Again, Santa declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me Rs. 50, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you Rs. 5000."

This catches Santa's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

Santa doesn't say a word, reaches into his purse, pulls out a Rs. 50 bill, and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn." Santa asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes back with four legs?"

The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references ... no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress ... no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail. After an hour, he wakes Santa and hands him Rs. 5000.

Santa thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, stirs Santa and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, Santa reaches into his purse, hands the lawyer Rs. 50, and goes back to sleep.

21	KIDS
	How do they estimate the population of a Swiss village? They count the echoes and divide them by the numbers of mountains.

22	KIDS
	Tourist: I've come here for winters. Californian: Well, you've come to the wrong place. There's no winter here.

28	INDIAN
	We're almost there," said the Santa Singh to Banta Singh. "See those two houses over there... mine's the one in the middle!"

32	INDIAN
	Did you hear about the sardar who signed all his cheques so no one else could use them if he lost his chequebook?

33	INDIAN
	Why are sardar secret agents the best in the world? Because even under torture they can't remember what they have been assigned to.

34	INDIAN
	How many sardars does it take to pull off a kidnapping? Six. One to kidnap the victim and five to write the ransom note.

36	INDIAN
	Cell Phone A sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he picks it up and says " Hello, how did you know I was here?"

23	PICTURES
	Cyber Sex

24	PICTURES
	Lagaan

25	PICTURES
	Foot on Ball

26	PICTURES
	March Past