221    

  PICTURES 

    222    

  PICTURES 

    223    

   PICTURES 

    224    

   INDIAN 

There is this good Old barber in some city in US. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the  barber replies: 'I am Sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service'. Florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a Thank you Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.

A Cop goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the Barber and the barber replies: 'I am Sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service'. The Cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a Thank you Card and a dozen Donuts waiting at his door.

An Indian Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the Barber and Barber replies; 'I am Sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service'. The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there A Dozen of Indian Software engineers waiting for a free haircut......

 

    225    

   INDIAN 

Once Banta Singh had gone for an Interview..

Interviewer: Give me the opposite words..
Banta Singh: OK
Interviewer: Made in India
Banta Singh: Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer: Good... Keep it Up
Banta Singh: Bad.... Put it Down

Interviewer: MaxiMum
Banta Singh: Maxi Dad
Interviewer: Enough! Take your Seat
Banta Singh: Insufficient! Don't Take my seat
Interviewer: Idiot! Take your Seat
Banta Singh: Clever! Don't take my Seat

Interviewer: I say you get out!
Banta Singh: You didn't say I come in

Interviewer: I reject you!
Banta Singh: You appoint me

Interviewer: ....!!!!!!!

 

    226    

 INDIAN 

Once a girl was drinking Coke. She suddenly discovered a fly in her drink and took it out from the Coke.

The fly gave birth to a baby fly and died.The baby fly opened its eyes, looked at the girl and said,"Maaa!".

The girl asked the baby fly,"Mein tumhari maa nahin hoon phir tune mujhe Maa kyo   bulaaya?"

The fly replied, "Kyoonki maine tumhari Coke se janam liya hai".

 

    227    

  INDIAN 

One train which was going peacefully on the rail-tracks suddenly deviated from the tracks and went to the fields nearby and then came back on the tracks. The passengers were horrified.

On the next Railway station the driver was caught : He was found to be a Sardar.

When he was questioned. He explained that there was a man standing on the track and he was not moving from there even after lots of honks etc.

Then authorities questioned : Sardarji are you mad! just to save life of one person you put life of so many passengers under danger. You should have run over that person.

Sardar said : Exactly, that is what I also decided, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train came very close! 

 

    228    

   INDIAN 

Now tell us "What's the moral of the story?"

Answer is hidden in the next line, select the below line between the two red " • " buttons.

•   Moral : "There are Sardar communities in tigers too".  •

 

    229    

   INDIAN 

Santa Singh and Banta Singh were discussing how they would like to die. Santa said, "When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep. I dont want to die screaming like some of his friends, who also died at the same time."

Banta asked, "How did his friends die screaming while your grandfather died sleeping peacefully?"

Santa Singh replied, "His friends were the passengers in the car he was driving."

 

    230    

   INDIAN 

Santa was invited to Banta's home for dinner, where he noticed that his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms, calling her Jalebi, Honey, Pyaari, Darling, Sweetheart etc. He was impressed, since the couple had been married almost 40 years. While the wife was in the kitchen, Santa said, "I think it's wonderful that after all these years, you still call bhabhiji those pet names."

Banta hung his head. "To tell you the truth, I forgot her name about 10 years ago."

 

 231    

   INDIAN 

A Bihari was waiting for his bus at the bus stop. Finally the bus arrives and he gets in. The bus is fully loaded with sardarjis. One sardarji
orders Bihari to tell a joke. Now, the Bihari thinks he's in big trouble because he knows only sardar jokes!

After thinking for some time he decides to substitute all references to 'sardars' in his joke with 'Biharis'. He starts the jokes with, "There was once a Bihari..." And suddenly he gets a major blow on his back from one of the sardarjis who shouts, "Kyon be! Sab sardar mar gaye hai kya?"

 

    232    

     TEENS 

A couple came upon a wishing well.
The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.

The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really works!"

 

    233    

      TEENS 

Wife: How many times have I told you not to be late for dinner?

Husband: I don’t know. I thought you were keeping score.

 

    234    

      TEENS 

Boarder: Does the water always come through the roof like this?

Landlord: No - only when it rains.

 

    235    

   TEENS 

After digging to a depth of 100m last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wiring dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.

So as not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists dug 200m, and headlines in the US newspapers read: "US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibbers, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Russians."

One week later, the Indian press reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 800m, Indian scientists have found  absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using mobile phones and used wireless communications."

 

    236    

 TEENS 

Hillary Clinton died and went to Heaven. St. Peter was giving her a tour of Heaven when she noticed that there were thousands of clocks on the wall. Each clock displayed a different time of day. When she asked St.Peter about the clocks, he replied, "We have a clock for each person on earth and every time they tell a lie the hands move. The clock ticks off one-second each time a lie is told."

Special attention was given to two clocks. The clock belonging to Mother Teresa has never moved, indicating that she never told a lie. The clock for Abraham Lincoln has only moved twice. He only told two lies in his life.

Hillary asked, "Where is Bills' clock?"

St.Peter replied, "Jesus has it in His office...He's using it as a ceiling fan."

 

    237    

      TEENS 

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.

The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband."

 

    238    

      TEENS 

We always hold hands.

If I let go, she shops.

 

    239    

     TEENS 

A woman - complaining to her neighbour that her husband always came late from office, no matter how she tried to stop him.

Neighbour - "Take my advice," do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o' clock in the morning, and from my bed, I called out: "Is that you Ram?" and that cured him.
A woman - "cured him! But how?"
Neighbour - "you see, his name is Sham."

 

    240    

      TEENS 

Does your wife know how to park a car?

Well, she doesn’t exactly park a car she abandons it.