201    

  INDIAN 

It's too funny...
While waiting for a bus a sardar sees a truck being towed away by another truck. He laughs, breaks down, rolls on the ground and cannot
control his laughter.

There is a sindhi who is standing with the sardar for the bus. He wonders what's up? Calls sardar, but sardar cannot control himself, points at the towing truck & again rolls on the ground, billowing more dust.

The sindhi papad is annoyed, pulls up sardar asks him what is so funny? The sardar says "kya zamana aagaya, ek rassi uthane ke liya do-do truck."

 

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  TEENS 

6 Pack   Widow

Three guys were working on a high rise building project: Steve, Bill and Charlie. Steve falls off and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Charlie says, "Someone should go and tell his wife."

Bill says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it".

2 hours later, he comes back carrying a 6-pack.

Charlie says, "Where did you get that, Bill?"

"Steve's wife gave it to me."

"That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?"

Bill says, "Well not exactly. When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Steve's widow.'"

She said, "'No, I'm not a widow."

And I said, "Wanna bet me a six-pack?"

 

    203    

  TEENS 

2 lanes or 4 lanes
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, "Lord grant me one wish." 

Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish".

The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want." 

The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me." 

The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly happy." 

The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

 

    204    

 TEENS 

Genie in the BUSH
George Bush was jogging along the beach when he came upon a Genie's lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it around, and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared! George was amazed and startled, and asked the genie if he got three wishes? "No" said the genie "I'm afraid that due to  constant down sizing, world stock market volatility, fierce global competition, deflation and low wages in asian countries, I can only grant you but one wish sir. So please, what will it be?..." George didn't hesitate. He said, "There is something near and dear to my heart; I would like to see peace in the Middle East. Here, see this map? I want all these countries to stop fighting and make peace among them."  

The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Gadzooks, man! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. The hatred among them runs deep. any have tried and failed at what you ask. I'm good but not THAT good. I just don't think it can be done. Please, could you make another wish?"

George thought for a minute, and then said, "Well you know, people just don't like my wife Barbara. They think she's bad tempered, has a big butt, and pushes me around too much. I wish for her to be the most beautiful woman in the world and have everybody really like her. OK, that's what I want."

The Genie let out a long sigh and said, "George, let me see that map again!..."

 

    205    

   TEENS 

UNIQUE BREAKFAST
A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read "Unique Breakfast", so he walked in and sat down.
The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what he wanted.
"What's your 'Unique Breakfast'?" he asked inquisitively.
"Baked tongue of chicken," she replied proudly.
"Baked tongue of chicken? Do you have ANY idea how disgusting that is? I would never even consider eating anything that came out of a chicken's mouth!" the man fumed.
Undaunted, the waitress asked, "Well, what would you like then, sir?"
The man replied, "Just bring me some scrambled eggs."

 

    206    

  TEENS 

BUDDY - The horse sense
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.
He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move.
Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond.
Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.
The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.
The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try!"

 

    207    

     TEENS 

STILL LOVE ME?
Milton came into his wife's room one day. "If I were, say, disfigured, would you still love me," he asked her.
"Darling, I'll always love you," she said calmly, filing her nails.
"How about if I became impotent, couldn't make love to you any more?" he asked anxiously.
"Don't worry, darling, I'll always love you," she told him, buffing her nails.
"Well, how about if I lost my job as vice president?" Milton went on, if I weren't pulling in six figures any more. Would you still love me then?"
The woman looked over at her husband's worried face. "Milton, I'll always love you," she reassured him, "but most of all, I'll really miss you."

 

    208    

      TEENS 

    209    

  TEENS 

MISDIAGNOSIS
A husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight and dropped in a coin. "Listen to this," he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card. "It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and a great lover.""Yeah," his wife nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too."

 

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   PICTURES