The Chywanprash eternal life award
To: The Bofors scandal
For living on and on, even as newer ones come and go…

The Energiser Bunny award
To: Amitabh Bachchan
Here’s looking at a recharged Big B!

The ISRO’s Mission Chandrayan award
To: Sensex
For its successful lift off to the moon

The Ponds vanishing cream award
To: Vivek Oberoi
Needs an explanation?

The Pratibha Naithani party is over award
To: The BJP
I don’t see many tears shed over this

The Anu Garg award for word of the year
To: Diverticulitis
Runner-up: Bling

The David Dhawan Jodi No.1 award
To: Greg Chappell and Sourav Ganguly
Runner-up: Karisma and Sunjay Kapoor

The H G Wells award
To: Manmohan Singh
For being the Invisible Man

The Aman Verma award
To: Sanjay Joshi
For falling prey to the oldest trick in the book

The Humpty Dumpty award
To: Lalu and Rabri
Can this couple be put together again?

The Renuka Chowdhury award
To: Aamir Khan
For doing more to Panchgani’s tourism than anything else before

The Durex award
To: Khushboo
Virginity after all is like a condom. One prick and it is gone!

The Oxford acronym of the year
To: K Karunakaran
His party’s name, DIC(K), says it all.

The De Beers award
To: Shah Rukh Khan
Yeh hero hai sada ke liye!

The Kahaan Gaye Log award
To: Manisha Kooirala
Runner-up: Kareena Kapoor

The Fevicol award
To: The 11 stung MPs
Obvious, isn’t it?