Tears- The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ...

College- A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing girls.

Cigarette- A pinch of tobaco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.

Conference- The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

Compromise- The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary- A place where divorce comes before marriage .

Conference Room- A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

Ecstasy- A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

Classic- A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile- A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office- A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn- The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.- A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee- Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience- The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb- An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher- A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat- A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist- A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist- A person who while falling from Eifel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

Pessimist- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

Miser- A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father- A banker provided by nature.

Criminal- A guy no different from the rest. of us.. except that he got caught.

Boss- Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician- One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor- A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.